11-May-2014,Sunday
As I was walking to church today, I had all these thoughts
in my mind about the track of my life, where I am gonna end up and stuffs like
that. I am about to take my next big leap because by the end of this month, I will
be officially done with my college and I will have to look for a new identity,
a new description for myself. One thing I don’t wanna be is somebody who works
under a boss’s nose. That’s the last thing I ever wanna be.
I wanna be an entrepreneur. I wanna start something on my
own. I wanna change the world. I wanna make a difference. I don’t wanna be that
typical Inidan working woman who’s ultimate job is to look after her kids and
her family. Not that it is bad or anything. But I am not quite ready for it. I
will embrace those responsibilities for sure, but only, when it’s time. I wanna
go beyond that. I wanna conquer the world. I am the most grateful to God, for
this wonderful life he has gifted me, my parents, sister and family! I am so grateful
that I am born me! Oh how much I love myself!! Though not narcissistically! I know
that vested in me, is immense power and potential. I knew it since my brain
started functioning. I know I have been in the right path all these years and
now is the time that I have reached that vantage point in my life. One wrong
move and all my dreams end up in ashes.
Of course I do pray about it to God, to lead me to what is
right. But I believe that I gotta clear my side for him to work good so that
the odds are never in my favor. So, what is holding me back? I gotta do some
serious study on that. There are a lot many factors that inhibit the potential
in me. I gotta find them out and clear them off my way to success. So something
I learned today was, I lack will power or strength to stay determined.
Yes, that’s what I yield to the most, lack of determination.
Whether it’s studying through the day or not touching my face or not sleeping,
whatever I decide, I end up doing the opposite. I have to stop that. I have to
be like my Mom, the one person whom I know is the most perfect of all! If only
she could run for the president!! So yes, I have to learn to have more will
power. I have to learn not to be abortive no matter how laborious could my
decisions be. I know that I can only achieve it gradually, training myself
through it. And I think, that this time,
it is ON!!!
