Reality Check

11-May-2014,Sunday

As I was walking to church today, I had all these thoughts in my mind about the track of my life, where I am gonna end up and stuffs like that. I am about to take my next big leap because by the end of this month, I will be officially done with my college and I will have to look for a new identity, a new description for myself. One thing I don’t wanna be is somebody who works under a boss’s nose. That’s the last thing I ever wanna be.

I wanna be an entrepreneur. I wanna start something on my own. I wanna change the world. I wanna make a difference. I don’t wanna be that typical Inidan working woman who’s ultimate job is to look after her kids and her family. Not that it is bad or anything. But I am not quite ready for it. I will embrace those responsibilities for sure, but only, when it’s time. I wanna go beyond that. I wanna conquer the world. I am the most grateful to God, for this wonderful life he has gifted me, my parents, sister and family! I am so grateful that I am born me! Oh how much I love myself!! Though not narcissistically! I know that vested in me, is immense power and potential. I knew it since my brain started functioning. I know I have been in the right path all these years and now is the time that I have reached that vantage point in my life. One wrong move and all my dreams end up in ashes.

Of course I do pray about it to God, to lead me to what is right. But I believe that I gotta clear my side for him to work good so that the odds are never in my favor. So, what is holding me back? I gotta do some serious study on that. There are a lot many factors that inhibit the potential in me. I gotta find them out and clear them off my way to success. So something I learned today was, I lack will power or strength to stay determined.

Yes, that’s what I yield to the most, lack of determination. Whether it’s studying through the day or not touching my face or not sleeping, whatever I decide, I end up doing the opposite. I have to stop that. I have to be like my Mom, the one person whom I know is the most perfect of all! If only she could run for the president!! So yes, I have to learn to have more will power. I have to learn not to be abortive no matter how laborious could my decisions be. I know that I can only achieve it gradually, training myself through it.  And I think, that this time, it is ON!!!